Apology!!!

Sorry. Such a simple way to undo the cruel acts. Easy escape, easy way to make up for all faults, easy way to hide something done intentionally and prove it as a mistake and yeah well sometimes used to genuine apologise for something we actually regret. It’s this same word we use however different be the situations.
” Shit! I wasn’t bring careful so i bumped right into you, i am so sorry! ”
” Oh i over-slept so got late, sorry. ”
” OMG!! Was that your heart i just broke? I am so sorry! ”
” Actually you know i was bored, i intended to play cricket but ended up playing with your emotions, SORRY!!! ”
Sounds weird no? Imagine it being done. What i am trying to convey is that a mere sorry won’t make up for your faults. Sometimes sorry isn’t enough, however heart-felt it may be but it’s just not enough. The actions should show how sorry one feels. The mistake done by you may be trivial to you but in no way should you judge its impact on the person who is affected. It’s subjective. Rather than grieving over whether or not your mistake was worth the reaction try to convey a genuine apology, won’t make you less of a person.
The simple most example for it is at our home. There are innumerable number of times where we end up taking your frustration on mom. We might be bumped due to bad day at work, class, fight with a friend and we end up being rude with our always taken for granted punching bag. Well that’s the case for me many times. I end up being little rude to her. We have no idea of how much can it hurt her. And she might forgive you just with a sorry. Heck! She’ll forgive you even if you don’t apologise. But when you apologise with a hug and tell her she means the world to you, i bet not only will your harsh words be forgotten but you’ll be making her day. Isn’t that difficult, right? Do try. (That in no way suggests that you should hurt your mom, no no!).
Say sorry when you mean it from heart (yea yea used in ZNMD). The sorry must convey the regret. Well not just that but it should be accompanied by a resolution that the mistake won’t be repeated. I thought using the word promise in place of resolution but mistakes happen, they surpass the boundaries of promises. But we can resolve to try and not repeat the mistakes.
Wondering what’s the big deal about sorry? Well i just felt that many people do some seriously incorrigible acts with the leisure of using sorry at the end. Pretty lame but yeah such kind do exist. Saying sorry is acceptance of mistake too, which indeed is a big deal but doing mistakes as we know a sorry would mend all hurt is not fair. So the next time you use sorry without meaning it, consider yourself virtually slapped by me 😛
And for those who found this post lame, i am SORRY!! 😉

Clinging on to it!

Rays of sun, happy rays, fell on the sea ahead. The scene i was watching was breath taking and beautiful. The water ahead was glowing mightily. The rays of setting sun dressing the sea below it in glowing orange. It almost felt like sun has got a new dress as a gift for the sea. And the sea was shining as if letting the sun know that the dress indeed was beautiful. Cool, mild breeze was blowing around. It felt the God Himself was in the mood of romance. The warmth, pleasant warmth, surrounded me. It felt good. My heart felt light. It was an alien feeling. Don’t know if it can be termed as happiness. If yes then i have never felt this happy. I felt a smile creeping on lips enjoying the atmosphere. The waves broke right at my feet, the water slightly drenching my feet. And when waves retreated, they seem to be taking away my sorrow. Each way taking away all the worries and making me feel lighter and lighter. I felt surprised. I never was the person who sits calmly at the beach to enjoy the sunset, instead i loved jumping around and playing with water. That made me feel alive. But this calm that surrounding me made me happy too. I wished i could sit there alone, forever. However strange it felt, i welcomed it. Don’t know how long did i sit there, just like that taking the whole scene in. Letting the breeze take away all the worries, letting the water take away all sorrow and botherations away. I felt a shake. I ignored it not wanting to leave this peace. The shakes continued. I tried ignoring it but i still felt them. Next i saw flash of bright white ahead of me. I closed my eyes, it was all dark now. I wanted the sea, sand, waves and the calm back. But all i felt were the shakes. I opened my eyes in hope of view i felt so addictive. But i just saw my mom trying to wake me up. The sun was up, i was in my room and the reality set in. I felt myself frowning. For once i wanted to sleep and dream that again. Too greedy to feel the calm and happiness. I almost went back to sleep but my mom just wouldn’t let me. I decided it was all vain and decided to get up still clinging on to the dream with the thought that morning dreams do come true 🙂 🙂

A letter to Laad Governor.

This post is a fiction. It’s based on a tele series i watch. Just another excuse to write. Something that makes me curious. So i wrote this post to a fictional character i adore the most.

Dear Arnav Singh Raizada,
I do not hate you. I never can, i never have, i never will. This is who you are and i accept it. I can’t expect someone like you ASR to sit and reason out things with Khushi. If someone is expecting this they are expecting ASR to not be ASR. I know you are making Khushi go through hell with no fault but i still don’t hate you. There is no reason. This is supposed to be a hate marriage and this is what it is. But i strongly believe that not telling something as important as what creepy snake Shyam did to Raizada’s was khushi’s fault, even if with good intention. And now you ASR are fully justified to be angry on the part you know. Khushi cries when she is hurt, you Arnav have no such leisure. You get angry when you are hurt, you get angry when you are worried, you get angry when you care. That is you. I understand. Just because we saw you getting all lovey dovey during wedding doesn’t mean you will stop being ASR. I can’t imagine the pain and hurt you are going through. Your believes about marriage and love being sham and useless have all proved right. Its proved that no one cares or loves you genuinely except your ‘Di’ (and me too). I know your condition for you have been hurt by that very person for whom you actually let down the wall of iron that was so strongly fencing your heart. And people are bashing you, hating you because you are angry?! Uhh! That’s how you have been all your life. Eversince I have known you.
I love Khushi. She is strong willed person. And i am sure she’ll find the break through. She will make you tell her the reason behind this. She is Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada after all. Hang in there girl, i am sure Devi Mayyia can’t be that cruel to you for long.
I am by no means saying whatever is happening with her is right ASR, no! I am saying that whatever you are doing is right as per you. How can people forget your character? You are the one who released Khushi’s images in press just to prove to her that there is no God. You are the same person who threw her from your 1st floor office because she refused to acknowledge your help. All these people loved you then, din they? Why are they hating you now? Now is when you need all the support and understanding. It’s your ruthless, angry, unexpressive self Arnav that Khushi will change, i know you are not going to be rational and goody on your own, that will not justify your nature. Khushi’s love will change you. It was changing you before this misunderstanding. People who hate you ASR, dont know you at all. You are a person who doesn’t believe in God, because God took away what you loved most dearly, your mom. And yes at a very early age. You had been staying in darkness ever since. Just protecting the people related to you, to prove that God can’t make you lose them. Because now you are your own God. You write your own fate. No one else. No destiny. And this very antagonist self of yours starts to love someone, for once you started to care for someone, someone other than your Di. You, who never smiled, wanted to smile, just for her. You could die for her. Before you even realised she became your world.
Now what if you see your world embraced in someone else’s arms? Heck its in arms of the person you respected. Your jeejaji. Your Di’s love, life, world. What would be any normal person’s reaction to that? They’ll cry, no? But you can’t. You can’t cry, because only those who are hurt can cry and you had been making sure no one can hurt you. Not again. You had been blocking every entry into your heart. But this girl ruined it. She broke all entry barriers. Ruined the dark alley of your heart by bringing sunshine and then taking it back just like that. Still you cried, can’t imagine the pain you experienced? A pain so deep that you couldn’t control the tears.
All people see is that you forced Khushi into marriage, can’t they see you wanted to protect your reason for existance, your Di? All go gaga for Khushi who sacrificed so much and married you for you threatened to stop her jiji’s marriage, didn’t you do it? Didn’t you marry the one who as per you betrayed you? You are trying hard to hate someone you love. I don’t understand why people are so ignorant to your pain. People can see that Khushi’s family has boycotted her, is your family talking to you?! Your Di isn’t talking to you because you married to Khushi without telling anyone. The person you love the most is upset with you. Cant people see that?! Just because you are not sitting in one corner and crying doesn’t mean you are all happy. People can see you mentally torturing and bashing her, but i understand the double pain you go through after that. You hurt her but by doing that you hurt yourself more. You feel guilty for doing it which according to you, you should not feel at all. So i understand how would you as a person be dealing with so many contradictions between your heart and head. Even if everyone thinks that you are not being fair, i think you are absolutely right. I so get it why you don’t show any decency when you talk to her. I love it when you stand up for her in front of your family who don’t know that it’s just a pretence. I think Khushi knows you just pretend to stand up for her, you make sure she knows that you just pretend. Because more than her you want yourself to believe that you just pretend. But deep down you feel happy standing up for her, you just won’t acknowledge it. A man in your situation could have done worse and yet you have not done your worse yet and I really hope you do not ever. I understand you because in the position you are – in the situation you stand, you want to see her suffer and hurt – however much you do not like it – you have to make her suffer! I understand the turmoil between your head and heart and I can understand why you cannot think rationally (not that I ever thought you could when it came to family and Khushi) because you have always done the unbelievable to protect them, sadly no one sees this. I do not blame you for keeping your sister above because I understand she has been your mother, your father – practically the reason you are alive. If not for her, you would have killed yourself. So i want you to know that even if all hate you, i’ll always love you and support you.

From,
ASR’s chamkili.