Iss pyaar ko kya naam dun?!

Okay this is my first attempt at writing fiction. I have had this thought for sometime now and i finally have penned it, really dont know how it’s turned out to be. Nervous and anxious. Here it is:

He was there, yet again. It almost seemed like his feet dragged him there on their own accord. Not that he wanted otherwise, there is no chance he would ever want it to be otherwise. If left to him he wouldn’t leave this place ever. For it’s here that he felt alive, rest of the time he merely existed. It’s here that his heart breathes and smiles. His heart? No. Not his. Her heart, yes her heart that breathes within him. His heart surrendered itself to her the day she fell in his arms, now unwanted and disturbing for her, who probably hates it. No, she can never hate it, he thought with a frown. How he wished she would hate him, his heart. As he thought this, a bitter smile made its way to his face. He wanted her to hate him but the sadist in him was still smug about her inability to do so. Pushing these thoughts aside he entered the small house. Breathing in the air which to him was different than anywhere else, the air had her presence and he revelled in it. The house was just the way it was when she left a year ago. Left him, all alone. He made sure that it was well kept, yet undisturbed. As if preserving her presence, that was the least he could do. He put on the switch and with the lights came the gush of memories, sweet ones, their dance, her teasing him, she feeding him, defending him. And the bitter ones, he accusing her, not trusting her, degrading her, questioning her character. Blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall he moved towards the backyard that now to him seemed heaven, maybe because she loved being here, sitting with her sister, sipping her tea or merely standing here gazing at the stars. Not just stars, her parents. She loved talking to them, complaining sometimes. “Baat sach aur jhoot ki nahi, vishwas ki hai” her words echoed through his mind. Words which were so simply yet sincerely stated that he had believed her that even his parents like her’s are stars now, always watching over him. They might be hating him too, he thought bitterly. That’s what he deserves after all that he has done. He stared up at the sky trying to locate four brightest stars, to ask for forgiveness. Somehow this made him feel closer and connected to her. Maybe she was talking to them too, right now. It was a routine for him, to come here and ask for the forgiveness which he knew he didn’t deserve. They might forgive him, he’ll never forgive himself. And so he hadn’t tried to stop her, how could he? He didn’t deserve her, she deserved better, much better. His heart lurched at the thought of her being with someone else. And so he had never tried to know where she went or to convince her to come back, this was his punishment. To stay without the love he longed for. Clearing his mind he stared at the sky. It was dark, with no stars and not even faintest of light indicating presence of moon…almost depicting the state of his heart. Even their parents didn’t want to hear his apology today. He sank down on the cot closing his eyes as the pain in the heart became unbearable and a lone tear managed to escape his eyes. “Khushi” he whispered almost knowing she will hear it and in some way help him ease his pain. He opened his eyes hoping to see her once. Nothing. Would he ever give up the hope of getting her back? He didn’t know. He won’t, he thought a second later. Still failing to locate the stars he got up with a heavy heart when something twinkling caught his sight. It was at the far end of the backyard, on the floor. Something shining in the little moon light that somehow escaped from the otherwise clouded sky. He made his way towards it. Bending down he picked the shining thing and a huge lump formed in his throat. Stars, Khushi’s stars. The one’s she hanged over bed so she could feel close to her parents, the one’s she wanted to gift him, the one’s he had mercilessly thrown on her face. Khushi had yet again tried to take his pain away. He could, for today, ask forgiveness from these stars. It was all about belief, after all. And they have guarded Khushi all her life. Khushi, still didn’t fail to answer him in her own way whenever he called her, he thought as the tears finally made their way and he sobbed bitterly holding the stars close to him as if his life depended on them, as if he were holding Khushi, his Khushi

ANGRY BIRDS!!!

Angry isn’t the word. I was fuming furious. With that amount of anger I could have given angry birds a run for their money. But coming to think of it, there are certain situations where you just have to curb down your emotions. However justified they are, you cant put them on show. No amount of anger or abusing can anyway take the hurt and betrayal my friend’s going through. So instead of ranting about a stupid ruthless idiotic obnoxious high leveled jerk (ahhh! This feels good) i’ll state something beautiful yet conscious biting.
The other day while discussing a point with someone i got to know that a mother is generally more happy to have a son. Even if it’s just a fraction of a percent more happy but she definitely is more happy. This fact apparently is also present in the Bible. And this, i think, has nothing to do with wanting the boy child for family future. It’s just something that is the way it is. A mother’s happiness knows no bounds when the child is actually born…a life brought into the world by her, a life that contains part of herself. A life which becomes her own extended life. Along with that boy’s first cry on entering the new world, they say, there is a prayer or an oath that is said in that very room. By his mother. A prayer by a splendid mother thanking the Almighty for blessing her with the joy of being a mother. An oath by the same determined mother to nurture her son with values, to give him such an upbringing that he grows up respecting all the women and securing the women related to him. A mother makes a little promise with herself that she’ll teach the child to treat women with respect and honor, to value them, to protect them. That mother on taking her son in her arms for the first time wishes with all her heart that her son will grow up to be an ideal man. A man every girl or woman will look up to. And every mother does all she can to incorporate all such values in her son.
So whenever you as a guy aren’t respecting the woman in your life or any woman for that matter, remember that you are failing your mother. You are failing her upbringing. I anyway fail to understand how can any guy who has used, misbehaved or ill-treated a woman or a girl sleep soundly?! Doesn’t your conscious eat you up? How do you live with that guilt? Ohh! Wrong question. Do you even feel the guilt?! Next time think of it as you disappointing your mother, someone because of whom you are alive! That should make you realise how pathetic and gross you people are to play with someone’s emotions. So lets get this straight, you aren’t just toying around with the girl but flaunting off how little the you think of your mother to tarnish her toil. Oh and remember, a real man always respects women. Hope you got the hint.

PS: Its blatantly obvious i couldn’t keep the ranting out. Sigh.

PPS: I have no clue why i ended up naming it angry birds. Doesn’t really match the latter half but i had a strong urge to be on :-p

Rishtey!

The following was a monologue i heard recently and absolutely loved it, so thought of sharing it.. Here it goes..

Kuch rishte ajeeb hi dor mein bandhe hote hain..
Takrar se shuru hote hain, nafrat ke saaye mein panapte hain, Girte hain, padte hain, par kaayam rahte hain..
Nafrat badhti jaati hai aur rishte ki gaanth aur gehri hoti jaati hai..
Itni ki ek din nafrat bhi aur badhne se sharma jati hai.. Aur woh rishta sirf ek bandhan ban ke rah jaata hai.. Lekin sirf nafrat waala…
Kabhi kabhi aisa lagta hai jaise nafrat ke us maahoul mein kuch toh hai..
Jo humse kehta hai ki is unsuni, anjaane se, ankahe se ehsaas ko ek mauka toh do…
Par jis rishte ki neenv hi nafrat pe rakhi gayi ho, usse kuch bhi ummeed lagana naadani nahi to aur kya hoga?
Aur shayad ye nadaani hum kar baithe hai..
Warna kyun itni nafrat ke baawajood humein aapki yaad aa rahi hai? Kyun hum aapse ladte hain, jhagadte hain, lekin aapke jaane ke baad aap hi ki raah dekhte hain, hawaaon se aapki baatein karte hain?