Iss pyaar ko kya naam dun?!

Okay this is my first attempt at writing fiction. I have had this thought for sometime now and i finally have penned it, really dont know how it’s turned out to be. Nervous and anxious. Here it is:

He was there, yet again. It almost seemed like his feet dragged him there on their own accord. Not that he wanted otherwise, there is no chance he would ever want it to be otherwise. If left to him he wouldn’t leave this place ever. For it’s here that he felt alive, rest of the time he merely existed. It’s here that his heart breathes and smiles. His heart? No. Not his. Her heart, yes her heart that breathes within him. His heart surrendered itself to her the day she fell in his arms, now unwanted and disturbing for her, who probably hates it. No, she can never hate it, he thought with a frown. How he wished she would hate him, his heart. As he thought this, a bitter smile made its way to his face. He wanted her to hate him but the sadist in him was still smug about her inability to do so. Pushing these thoughts aside he entered the small house. Breathing in the air which to him was different than anywhere else, the air had her presence and he revelled in it. The house was just the way it was when she left a year ago. Left him, all alone. He made sure that it was well kept, yet undisturbed. As if preserving her presence, that was the least he could do. He put on the switch and with the lights came the gush of memories, sweet ones, their dance, her teasing him, she feeding him, defending him. And the bitter ones, he accusing her, not trusting her, degrading her, questioning her character. Blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall he moved towards the backyard that now to him seemed heaven, maybe because she loved being here, sitting with her sister, sipping her tea or merely standing here gazing at the stars. Not just stars, her parents. She loved talking to them, complaining sometimes. “Baat sach aur jhoot ki nahi, vishwas ki hai” her words echoed through his mind. Words which were so simply yet sincerely stated that he had believed her that even his parents like her’s are stars now, always watching over him. They might be hating him too, he thought bitterly. That’s what he deserves after all that he has done. He stared up at the sky trying to locate four brightest stars, to ask for forgiveness. Somehow this made him feel closer and connected to her. Maybe she was talking to them too, right now. It was a routine for him, to come here and ask for the forgiveness which he knew he didn’t deserve. They might forgive him, he’ll never forgive himself. And so he hadn’t tried to stop her, how could he? He didn’t deserve her, she deserved better, much better. His heart lurched at the thought of her being with someone else. And so he had never tried to know where she went or to convince her to come back, this was his punishment. To stay without the love he longed for. Clearing his mind he stared at the sky. It was dark, with no stars and not even faintest of light indicating presence of moon…almost depicting the state of his heart. Even their parents didn’t want to hear his apology today. He sank down on the cot closing his eyes as the pain in the heart became unbearable and a lone tear managed to escape his eyes. “Khushi” he whispered almost knowing she will hear it and in some way help him ease his pain. He opened his eyes hoping to see her once. Nothing. Would he ever give up the hope of getting her back? He didn’t know. He won’t, he thought a second later. Still failing to locate the stars he got up with a heavy heart when something twinkling caught his sight. It was at the far end of the backyard, on the floor. Something shining in the little moon light that somehow escaped from the otherwise clouded sky. He made his way towards it. Bending down he picked the shining thing and a huge lump formed in his throat. Stars, Khushi’s stars. The one’s she hanged over bed so she could feel close to her parents, the one’s she wanted to gift him, the one’s he had mercilessly thrown on her face. Khushi had yet again tried to take his pain away. He could, for today, ask forgiveness from these stars. It was all about belief, after all. And they have guarded Khushi all her life. Khushi, still didn’t fail to answer him in her own way whenever he called her, he thought as the tears finally made their way and he sobbed bitterly holding the stars close to him as if his life depended on them, as if he were holding Khushi, his Khushi

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12 thoughts on “Iss pyaar ko kya naam dun?!

  1. hmmmm but why do we have to give a NAME to everything .. just a question reading the title ..

    Lovely story though 🙂 and good you got BHAVUK 🙂 bhavuk people write good stories he he he

    sorry i was being nosy reading the comments earlier ..

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