To expect, or not to?

Few days back i got a message from one of my best buddies. In that message he asked me a weird question. Okay, not weird, but definitely unusual. Okay, so anyway the question being ‘How do we stop expecting from others?’. I was at loss of thoughts. Maybe because it was so unexpected. And i had an inkling that it was an indirect hint (ouch!). I asked him ‘who others?’ and phack came the reply ‘close friends’ (confirmed)!! The first thought that came to me was that i have loads to apologise for. Hmph. And the first answer that came to my mind was that we really cant stop expecting. I mean even stopping to expect from others is an expectation from one’s ownself. But ofcourse he wasn’t talking about expectations in general but from close friends.
And i was like can we really stop expecting? As per me, not really. To me, expecting from people around is as easy and natural as breathing. We can certainly reduce and control our expectations but stopping them completely will end up being a futile attempt. No harm in trying though. I would rather prefer trying to guard oneself from the hurt if expectations aren’t fulfilled than not expecting at all. That can be comparatively easy. Try and prepare yourself that maybe the expectation is too much, maybe it won’t be fulfilled. That way it wont hurt, not as much atleast.
I expect shahid kapoor to deliver a super hit everytime his movie releases at box office. Now this doesn’t always happen. I get a little disappointed. I whine and crib over it. But i don’t drag it and certainly don’t keep a grudge over it like forever. I know everyone must be thinking i am mad to be comparing expectations from Shahid Kapoor to that from a close friend. But that effectively is my point. Just because the friend is close to us, it isn’t fair to burden them with expectations. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? They are close to us, so aren’t we expected to be more understanding. This doesn’t mean ki let them do whatever they want, no! We don’t aim at achieving sainthood, do we?! It’s our right to correct them, shout at them, get upset with them when they are wrong. But don’t hold a grudge, definitely not because something we expected didn’t happen, it’s not worth it. When expecting something, have a broad mind that it might not be fulfilled. It makes things easier, relations strong and saves us the hurt too.
Now, what when even the simplest of expectations aren’t fulfilled? That’s when it hurts the most and the hurt is justified too. Simple expectation tha, ye bhi nahi hua uss se, hmph. That’s what we think, right?! I actually was a little intrigued that why does it hurt so much, specially when even i do the same mistakes. And i did get the answer. It’s because we easily believe the negative thoughts. Be it about ourselves or others, we just believe them easily. When something isn’t going our way, instead of believing the possibility that there might be a genuine reason, we believe that it was done on purpose. Our minds are so corrupt that they refuse to accept the positive in other person. And that is one of the major causes for most of our problems. Let me give you an example, Aamir’s show Satyameva Jayate. So much is being talked about it. And mostly all people and media are finding faults in it. Why? Cant we accept that it’s a genuine effort? The point that Aamir wants to earn from this is easily acceptable to our mind. Why? Maybe because we think that since we haven’t tried any social good, why would he, there definitely is a selfish motive why he is doing this. Shameful. Forget helping him, we are degrading him. Simply proves that we easily believe bad about others.
Try and believe the best in every person and you might end up feeling good and happy. I haven’t achieved this yet, but i am trying. And i do intend to implement it completely.


5 thoughts on “To expect, or not to?

  1. Superbly presented (except satyamev jayate example ) ! M still not entirely convinced though ! discussion needed 😉 and who texted u such weird question ? hehehehe

  2. hmmmmmmmmmm well that how humans are .. I doubt if we can tell if we shud expect or not , because whatever we do there are always scenarios when we do expect something

    regarding amirs program, I think he is doing a good job and whatevr is his hidden agenda IF he has one.. at least he is doing something to bring all the bad points in front because we indians have this habit of brushing everything under the carpet .. thats why their are lots of people who are not liking the show or have other things to say…

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