A little something happens and it just blows my mood off. I get upset over silly things, mull over stupid misunderstandings. Let’s just say i am at my edgy best these days. So while I was sad about one such petty issue, my over enthusiastic, ever so positive, filmy side made a louder point which i found pretty amusing. You know how people have this saint and devil voices in their head, I have a filmy and a not so filmy voice in my head! So this filmy voice told me that I ain’t capable of being sad yet. As in there are a few things i need to have for being sad. I need a big plasma tv all to myself for watching emotional movies while i eat ice-cream and cry for the characters and myself, i need a high storied apartment with French door balcony from where I can stare off to far ends and think about how unfair life has been, I need a big book shelf filled with all sorts of books in which I can immerse myself and a coffee machine to have bitter block coffee to forget the bitterness in life (uhh, not really). But now I don’t really have these, not of my own atleast. If I now watch movies my mom will remind me of my upcoming exams, if i now go into balcony (without French doors 😦 ) and stare, i’ll be greeted with pollution and noise and I don’t have any unread book right now either except my syllabus books and I don’t drink coffee at all, forget the black one. So basically I don’t think I should be sad. Not unless I get all these. I mean atleast being sad would be a little fun then, nah? That was the point the filmy voice made in head. And i decided that whenever I get sad, i’ll remind myself of all that I need for it and how inconvenient being sad is without it. So I’ll rather work towards achieving all that so that i can be sad or I’ll just decide to be happy, win-win situation it is! Who knows I might end up being happy with all these, I’d then play games on play-station on my plasma, enjoy the view from my apartment and read the books for entertainment and call friends over so that they can put the coffee machine at some use 😛
What should one do when the immense efforts you put in don’t show the desired effect? Why are we human’s so complicated? Why are we inclined towards the criticism? Why don’t we value what we have? I know your reaction on reading this. Must be ‘Why does she ask so many questions??’
It’s sometimes so easy to explain things to others but jab you are in that situation that same advice seems waste. Right? We think no one can understand what we are feeling so no advice will help us. Been there, done that, eh? But it’s really irritating if someone doesn’t listen to you, even after constant and almost desperate efforts. Yes you would have ignored advice of others too but koi aur kare toh pinch hota hai naa?! But I think I have out-done myself this time, I tried with all my might to make someone see the logic. But the mentos moment i awaited never came. Instead I ended up feeling close to what Farah Khan must have felt after Tees Maar Khan released. Yep, imagine!
Now if a friend is on the edge of a valley, hell bent on jumping, even after you actually drag them from there to stop them with no result, you just know the jump is inevitable. I mean even Salman Khan saves that girl from falling off the cliff with the help of his slipper because she wants to be saved, warna even that Relaxo chappals are useless (watch this ad if you already haven’t, its total salmanness!). So what would I do? I’ll jump too or I’ll be there to catch when you fall or I’ll be there to heal you if you get hurt. I’ll be there. That’s not the point. Point being you can help only if someone wants to be helped. Even now after realising this I know if I get one chance, I’ll do it all over again. Because this friendship doesn’t let me quit. But I am scared of being pushed away 😦 😦
Is there any hard and fast rule on how much one can try? Something like a hard limit? Beyond which I’ll be endangering the friendship? Does it make me a intruding, nosy friend? Will this make a friend not share things with me?
PS: I have not been paid to promote mentos, Relaxo or Tees Maar Khan and I ain’t even suing them. Yup, i possess a dariya dil 😛