Tere angne main mera hi kaam hai!!!

Groups. Loads of them. Kitty party group, society group, school group, college group, coaching classes group, we-stay-in-same-city group, gym group, office group, train group, twitter group, Facebook group and so on. There are groups we all belong to. Each possessing a different trait, a different reason. We are loyal to our group people, sometimes so loyal that we think of the other group as a rival for the mere reason that its another group. We try and mix in with as many people as possible, why? We want to be accepted in our favorite group, why? Even if that is so, why is it that the group becomes so much a part of us that there remains no ‘I’ in us. Many see it as a sign of selflessness. Maybe true to some extent. But to lose yourself so much so that you cant even think of a thing that you can do alone, for your ownself, is pretty miserable. To be so dependant on being in groups that you cant enjoy alone shows how less we enjoy our own company. We are so scared to be alone that we need to attend tutoring for meditation (meditation group, ha!) which cannot be done in a group as such. Meditation simply means an act to calm your inner self, to ease your thoughts away, to just be aware of our existence and its importance. The definition itself shows it is such a personal thing and to need an group to do it? I asked this question to someone and I got the reply that we need tutoring and such places for the atmosphere to meditate. I just thought if you need an atmosphere to meditate, you don’t really wish for it but are doing it as you think it should be done. Such is the influence of our surroundings on us that we are incapable of even relaxing on our own. I feel that is the most difficult state of mind, to not know what we want.
I do not intend that being social is bad, no. It is very good, very helpful. Just like any other thing even this in excess is bad, worse than others probably as you lose yourself in this. On one side we want to be with everyone and on the other side, we despise people who don’t agree with thoughts of our group. I won’t dare call such people hypocrites lest they get offended but you know what I mean, right?
What is the point of existing if you don’t love yourself enough? How can we keep others happy if we can’t be happy with ourselves? How can you live YOUR life when all you do is what OTHERS want?


Bolo Bolo!

Have you ever come across a person who never admits his mistake? Like the mistake seems apparent to every one except that person. Finding excuses of why the mistake happened (lame ones included) and stating them in a way as if mere stating of excuses relieves him off the burden of doing the mistake. When you try to correct them, they laugh as if mocking you (too irritating, too too!!!). Also, they state their mistakes as a matter of pride to others (totally beyond me) How do deal with such a person? I put in my honest efforts to not get irritated, to not snap but there is only so much I can control. I try not speaking immediately and explain when calm but it’s all very consuming and I hate talking down on anyone. If there is a better way, please suggest. Thankyou.

There are so many things I want to do, so many wishes, so many urges. But the list simply goes on increasing with no deletions. Some of them pretty simple, as simple as having a quiet walk. There is no one stopping me from doing these things, not some of them anyway. But they still remain things I want to do but I haven’t done. I can make peace with things not done because of my laziness as I have myself to blame, but the issue arises with things that remain undone because I rely on others for it. I might be the cause for delay in someone else’s wish too, and it must be just as itchy for them. It really is a bummer, specially when it goes down the drain for all wrong reasons. It just makes me wish that I could be self-sufficient. But just as I say it, I realise exactly how dependant I am on others. I don’t intend that depending on others is bad, no. Infact, it shows your ability to trust. But it irks when people know that you depend on them and don’t take that seriously. To trust someone doesn’t come easily to me, so I absolutely loath it when someone takes it for granted. Sometimes, just sometimes, try and choose other person’s happiness over your own; you might realise just what are you missing in life! Hmph!