I am a sincere person. I can’t help it. I love my job. I overwork without anyone asking me to because I actually believe it’s my duty to complete the task at hand. I absolutely detest making mistakes. It upsets me, a lot (maybe slightly more than what must be normal standard upset, if there is one)! I feel guilty for smallest of bloopers. Bloopers precede my long face day. I think I am weird, or maybe just a lucky someone who happens to love what she does?! This I think, or rather I know, isn’t the case with everyone. I see people openly hating their job, while they are at it. Doing the work casually, as casually as I tick the ‘I accept the terms and conditions box’. They don’t regret their mistake, they don’t try to think how to avoid it going forward. Maybe I am this overreacting, neurotically hyper, psycho with a conscience the size of an elephant or whatever but, HOW CAN YOU NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT A MISTAKE? Sometimes I crave such casual-I don’t give a damn-it is just another job attitude. Then just when I try to apply it, there’s a part of me that says it’s wrong and I wouldn’t want anyone doing the job I assign to them this way (I know what you are thinking, I too think I’d be a terrible boss) and I go back to being sincere! People look at me and I think I understand that look, it says ‘dude, she’s weird’! To have someone look at you that way for being sincere is not a great feeling, those are the moments where the need to be casual is at it’s peek! I wonder if I am suffering from a split personality disorder where this one part is too dominating, suppressing this version 2.0 of me. Now I am just being dramatic about it.
I have completed this post and re read it, I think I could have summed it up in one single line. I am a nerd.
PS: Wondering about the title? You know how every word brings a picture in your head? Like apple and you picture apple. Blimey brought a picture of this big round yellow smiley face who has it’s eyebrows raised, eyes wide, nose flat and mouth contorted, exactly how I feel when I think about people thinking I am weird!!